This is Pokémon We Could Beat Up #6
This is a bi-weekly column from Chris and I where we go through the National Pokédex and talk about whether we could beat each pokémon in a fight.
Looks like a pretty easy week judging by size. But as Yoda says “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?”.
Height: 2’ 07”
Weight: 66.1 lbs
CHRIS: A lot smaller than I realized. I always pictured Raichu being much bigger. In reality, it is just a big mouse. A pretty fat one. Getting zapped could hurt, but this shouldn’t be much of an issue. I am just much bigger.
STEVE: A little taller than pikachu but a little fatter, this seems like an easy win again. The only issue I would face is raichu’s electricity moves but hopefully I can blindside it and knock him out.
Weight: 26.5 lbs
CHRIS: I don’t really get how Steve thinks he could crack this open like an egg. I mostly saw this being fairly easy because he doesn’t attack much. He would roll towards me and I would kick him 100 feet like I did in kick ball in 6th grade.
STEVE: You may be thinking now Steve, sandshrew is armored you might have an issue getting through its tough exterior. I’ll crack this dumb thing open like an egg if I have to, sandshrew is not going to be an issue for me.
Weight: 65 lbs
CHRIS: I see the same thing happening with Sandslash that happened with Sandshrew….but I go to kick and he rips my leg in half. He has a lot of sharp objects, and fighting him feels like it would be a Saw challenge for me to escape from. L.
STEVE: I’m looking right past the stats here and thinking about those claws. This thing could roll into a ball and tire me out and claw me to death. That’s like 4-5 inches of claws headed right for my unprotected skin. I admit defeat here, this would be a painful death.
029. Nidoran ♀
Weight: 15.4 lbs
CHRIS: This is just a tiny gerbil. This may be at the top of the list for things I could destroy in a fight. It’s a slower Rattata. Just like Steve said, this thing has no chance.
STEVE: Rattata 2.0 here. I do feel bad about hitting a woman but this is a life or death battle and in this kind of situation you have to do what you have to do.
Weight: 44.1 lbs
CHRIS: I am a big fan of this Pokémon. It always looks like it’s ready to wrestle so that is how I would want to take it out. I wouldn’t have any issues with body slams and take downs. I don’t think I see true challenges until the Pokémon are at least close my my size.
STEVE: Not much of a challenge here, a little bit taller and heavier than the last challenger but this thing is barely up to my kneecaps. Onto the next one is all I have to say.
CHRIS: 3-2, 3-2, 5-0, 3-2, 4-1, 4-1. 22-8 overall. I like having such a large win lead right now because I know soon it will be clawing closer to even.
STEVE: 4-1 today, nothing crazy today. I think raichu could have gone either way but I think I have the advantage in that fight. 21-9 after 30 battles, I’m going to take my wins while I can because as we get deeper and deeper into the pokédex the matchups get a lot scarier.
New fights every Monday and Friday 5:00 PM EST. Gotta beat em’ all.