Pokémon We Could Beat Up #15

This is Pokémon We Could Beat Up #15

This is a bi-weekly column from Chris and I where we go through the National Pokédex and talk about whether we could beat each Pokémon in a fight.


076-80

076. Golem

Height: 4’07”

Weight: 661.4 lbs.

076 Golem icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Golem

CHRIS: 670 pounds….uh oh. This is just physically impossible for me to win. What can I even try to do?

STEVE: “Its body is so hard that even dynamite cannot scratch it.” This may be true, but Golem has never felt a Steve punch. Just kidding. L.

077. Ponyta

Height: 3’03”

Weight: 66.1 lbs.

077 Ponyta icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Ponyta

CHRIS: I just imagine myself getting bucked in the chin. I was going to say I would try to jump on her back, but that wouldn’t work either. Another L.

STEVE: I’ve seen YouTube videos of people getting folded after being kicked by a horse. I don’t want to be the next YouTube sensation. The fire doesn’t help my case either. L.

078. Rapidash

Height: 5’07”

Weight: 209.4 lbs.

078 Rapidash icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Rapidash

CHRIS: That’s a beefy horse. Uhhh. What do I even try. That heat just seems insane. I just imagine Rapidash running 150 mph straight into me. I blow up. GG.

STEVE: “Rapidash is a very agile Pokémon. It runs at about 150 mph (240 km/h), chasing everything that moves in hopes of racing it.” 150 mph??? Am I reading this correctly? This is just a Ponyta but bigger and beefier, I’m not having a good week. L.

079. Slowpoke

Height: 3’11”

Weight: 79.4 lbs.

079 Slowpoke icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Slowpoke

CHRIS: I think he’s so cute. He is so lazy so this is easy. I don’t even know what animal he is based upon? Either way W.

STEVE: Yes! I needed a win today. This is the Pokémon equivalent of a sloth so we are not worried about a Slowpoke. W.

080. Slowbro

Height: 5’03”

Weight: 173.1 lbs.

080 Slowbro icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Slowbro

CHRIS: He is also a bug beef cake. However if he doesn’t want to fight than it’s a win. I would feel bad if it didn’t try to fight back. Life or death, I survive.

STEVE: “While it is capable of unleashing powerful psychic attacks, Slowbro is typically rather peaceful and usually prefers not to fight.” Slowbro might not want to fight me but I want to fight Slowbro. Also, if the Shellder on its tail is broken off it reverts back to Slowpoke so that gives me an easy path to victory. W.


STANDINGS

CHRIS: 2-3 as well. The losses are catching up VERY fast.

STEVE: 2-3 today, a little bit better than last time where I went 1-4. 46-29 after 80 fights. I’m happy with this record, it could be better but it for sure could be a lot worse.

New fights every Monday and Friday 5:00 PM EST. Gotta beat em’ all.

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