Pokémon We Could Beat Up #18

This is Pokémon We Could Beat Up #18

This is a bi-weekly column from Chris and I where we go through the National Pokédex and talk about whether we could beat each Pokémon in a fight.


091-95

091. Cloyster

Height: 4’11”

Weight: 292.2 lbs.

091 Cloyster icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Cloyster

CHRIS: Big loss here. I imagine I try to hit it and it clamps my arm in half. He has that smug look on his face because he knows it’s true.

STEVE: The upgrade from Shellder to Cloyster isn’t even fair. How hard is a Cloyster shell you may ask?

“This impressive defense allows it to withstand anything from a bomb blast to even a missile strike.”

Bulbapedia

L.

092. Gastly

Height: 4’03”

Weight: 0.2 lbs.

Pokemon icon set (553 icons of 256x256px) designed by HEKTakun - free  download (ico, png, icns) | Icons101.com
Gastly

CHRIS: How do you hit something that’s not there? I have to lose.

STEVE: Gastly is poisonous so even being around one I would faint or die. On top of that it doesn’t even have a physical body so I don’t know how I’m supposed to hit it.

093. Haunter

Height: 5’03”

Weight: 0.2 lbs.

093 Haunter icon 256x256px (ico, png, icns) - free download | Icons101.com
Haunter

CHRIS: Again. A Ghost. But this one can torment my brain. I’m in danger.

STEVE: Haunter is scarier than you may think, here’s why:

If a human or a Pokémon comes near Haunter, it will stalk the victim while floating and beckon it to come closer. Once approached it will then lick the victim with its gaseous tongue, inflicting convulsions in the victim that last until death.

Bulbapedia

Haunter is going to stalk me, lick me and then watch me die. Wonderful. L.

094. Gengar

Height: 4’11”

Weight: 89.3 lbs.

Pokemon icon set (553 icons of 256x256px) designed by HEKTakun - free  download (ico, png, icns) | Icons101.com
Gengar

CHRIS: No way Steve can beat him. Look at this dude. He is what appears in your nightmares.

STEVE: Maybe I could beat a Gengar. Gengar is not going to poison or stalk me, has a physical body and is more mischievous than dangerous. I’m going to say I can beat Gengar. W.

095. Onix

Height: 28’10”

Weight: 463.0 lbs.

Pokemon icon set (553 icons of 256x256px) designed by HEKTakun - free  download (ico, png, icns) | Icons101.com
Onix

CHRIS: Lol. Rock snake. I can’t imagine standing next to this beast. My chest gets heavy thinking about it.

STEVE: I shouldn’t even spend time typing a response to this. L.


STANDINGS

CHRIS: 0-5 today. Wow. I think Steve should also be 0-5, but I won’t say anything.

STEVE: 1-4 today. I think most ghost type Pokémon are an instant loss unfortunately. Except Gengar. I firmly believe I could beat up Gengar.

New fights every Monday and Friday 5:00 PM EST. Gotta beat em’ all.

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